As the calendar flips to a new year, many of us feel the pull to set resolutions; a time-honoured tradition filled with hope and ambition. But as you've probably learned, the likely success of sticking to our resolutions often expires by the time February rolls around.
But why do so many resolutions fail to stick? Simply stated, it takes more than willpower or an emotional moment to make lasting changes. Furthermore, most
resolutions demand consistent effort over time, and their success hinges on our ability to sustain that work in the face of life's inevitable challenges. In other words, it takes GRIT!
Studies suggest that the key lies in being flexible with our goals, staying motivated from within (intrinsic motivation) and structuring goals effectively (Dickson et al., 2021; 2023; Höchli et al., 2020). For instance, it can help to think of your goals in layers: broad and overarching (superordinate goals, e.g., improved fitness) paired with specific and achievable steps (subordinate goals, e g., a weekly exercise plan with metrics).
So rather than rigid resolutions that focus on what you will do or give up, consider adopting a more flexible and motivational approach: one that centres on who you want to be or how you want to live.
One way to achieve this is by replacing traditional resolutions with a guiding theme for the year - an overarching intention that offers both vision and adaptability as life unfolds.
Choosing a Theme
My first piece of advice? Don't overcomplicate this process. Choosing a theme isn't about getting it right (no one is evaluating this), but rather about listening to yourself. Start by closing your eyes and reflecting on what naturally comes to mind. Maybe consider what you want 2025 to feel like. What's been missing or lacking? What would bring you joy and fulfillment? What have you put on hold or been too afraid to try? Let your intuition guide you.
Once you've allowed your initial thoughts to surface, here are some steps to help you refine and choose your theme:
Reflect on the past year
Think about the highlights and the challenges of the past year. Were there frustrations you'd like to resolve or areas of areas of growth you're proud of and want to continue nurturing? Perhaps there were lessons or insights that stood out - things you'd like to carry forward into the new year. Reflecting on these experience can offer valuable clues about what your theme could be.
Consider your values
Ask yourself: what matter most to me right now? Perhaps its connection, health, creativity, adventure, learning, ambition, or spirituality...
Choosing a theme that aligns with your core values will resonate deeply and guide you in meaningful ways.
Free write
Find a quiet space that is free from distractions. You could begin with a prompt by using an open-ended question: what would make me happiest in 2025? Or, what new practices would I like to explore? Otherwise, just simply start writing and let the words flow. Write continuously without critiquing or correcting, even if your thoughts seem disjointed and random. Once you're done, look for patterns and highlight any recurring themes, emotions or ideas.
Ask how you want to feel
Instead of focusing on what you want to do, think about how you want to feel this year. Do you want to feel confident? Connected? Balanced? Inspired? Shifting your focus to emotions allows for a more authentic alignment with your inner self, rather than being driven by external expectations or outcomes. Visualise the year ahead and imagine how you are being: what does your ideal day look like? What are the practices or habits that support this vision? Are you embracing new possibilities, or perhaps finding joy in simplicity?
Refine and 'go with it'
Once you've chosen your theme, write it down and make it visible. Journal your intentions, create a vision board or explore the theme in more details. You don't need to overly commit or turn your theme into a rigid, rule-based guide. Instead, 'go with it' to - allow your theme to evolve and guide you naturally as the year unfolds. There is no wrong or right.
What if I Can't Decide on a Single Theme?
That's okay - just go with it! Two or more themes will still work beautifully and might even feel more appealing. You could combine complementary themes, such as balance & growth; connection & adventure. Alternatively, try a seasonal approach where you divide the year into quarters and assign a theme to each: one for summer, autumn, winter and spring. Another option could be to choose a main theme supported by secondary themes that enhance it.
The choice is yours!
By Katherine Hurrell, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychologist, Sydney, Australia
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